My Coffee is Waiting

Stillness and the new year arrives and beckons me to change into something extraordinary. Actually, I don't think I could actually change into anything. Haven't quite explored shapeshifting. Nor would I want to change into someone else. I am just fine the way I am. I am, however, learning to lower my expectations to avoid anxiety over fruitless moments. However, there is always room to change my way of daily thinking. So the momentous date stays ingrained in the brain. January one. New day. New year. I'm also hearing, "The start of a new decade." The dinosaurs could give a shit about a decade now that their contorted bones lye still in the earth. They continue on through lumbering dreams of tearing through flesh or picking up a ton of lake mud and grasses; chewing and pondering paradise. My paradise is here. Electrical fed momentum is my daily bread. There are no dangers here. At least not yet. Only good old fashion American want.

In this dirty and twisted world, to some people, I suppose, a new year is just another day for them to pick up a rifle, dig in and fight for instilled principles. To someone else the new year is just another day covered in bruises, a fat lip and maybe in a few months when the new year doesn't matter much, a broken arm. There are also some people who know the new year holds nothing more than business as usual in a foreign place that wants to see you naked and will pay for it.

My paradise is here. My coffee is waiting. Nothing needs to change, yet something needs to change.

Clouds

Clouds cover the moving canopy
and stir the memory of restful times.
Of Sitting in trees and following bees
through the dark and lime green grasses.

Cool air songs rest upon the shoulders of thought
and send dreams running from their prisons.
Escaping the noise and restless voices
from troubled memories and painful lessons.

This is the place where the comforts of gray
turn the inward light in motion.
It soothes the moment and quiets the claw
that cuts through the morning's closure.

Suspension is bearing its weight on the room
while the spirits are unwittingly twirling
Among the blue hue the longing will end
while captured thoughts continue their yearning.

Weary and Dark Song

I already had my morning imagined. I was going to approach my minutes step-by-step. I wasn't going to invite my expectations to get too far ahead. I didn't want to get caught in the net of disappointment. I wasn't going to invite the hoodlum of doubt into my hour of bliss. When the walls of obligation squeeze and suffocate the breath of creativity, it is time for the sledgehammer.


I was able to get a better view of my intention by just using my voice. A request was made through my spirit to ask for an adjustment of working hours. What might seem to be a minor interruption can forcibly blast a path of self destruction and sabotage to end the course set for purpose and enlightenment. This selfish intrusion only defines the illusion of my limited equation. It is within my own power to wield the hammer and smash the shadow that bears down on my mental capacity. I'll slice through the lies that bind these tortured thoughts and hold me captive in a fixed and weary longing. My head, my shoulders and gut scream for the warm rays of healing. Hands only sought and found between the layers of vapor through the grainy mirage. I'll drag my weapon and leave a trail for you to find me.

Bite Me

Routine is an accident of preconceived self-discipline. Routine is the heart of mindless expectations. Routine is a dark and endless tunnel reaching only as far as the end of the room. Routine is our soul's prison and Eve's punishment for believing what she was told.

~k.guarino

Not Me

I'm saving the world,

unplugging

and taking a walk to get ready

for alot of running and screaming.

Care to join me?

ATC Workshop Forming

Here are a few ATC's I've been working on:

Spontaneous Art and Expression...click on each image for a closer gander if you so desire.

I'm going to be organizing an ATC workshop and eventually swap group at the new Candles, Creative Gifts and More shop. She's started allowing her vendors the opportunity to teach classes in their area of expertise. I decided to choose the trendy creative outlet found in designing Artist Trading Cards. I've got tons of paper and mixed media materials to do this with and I am eager to share an evening with those who wish to experiment and express their own love for collage and story telling. Further info with be announced soon. (As soon as I tell Luann!)

It's All There ~2009~

At the start of every year I always find myself contemplating a new course to follow. Writing down the changes I'd like to make within myself. Wanting to feel and think and be an instrument of love to the current and upcoming events and challenges. I can only hope for daily inspiration to appear and help keep me on track. I believe this desire dwells in everyone and it appears to be a highly marketable idea. Why, I only have to glance over at my fresh roll of paper towels hanging above my dish drain to find inspiration. Discover! Dream! Believe! Till the soil of your dreams... Keep growing, keep dreaming. BountyTM towels; giving me words of encouragement and simple wisdom. While glancing inside my date book, there are famous quotes written along the sidebar to remind me of noble ways to think and reflect. "Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow." ~ Helen Keller. We possess powers beyond our understanding. Our own thoughts are spirited tools revealing a higher calling for ourselves when practiced wholeheartedly. Wholeheartedly each day without fear, without doubt, without want, without hesitation.

So let's surround ourselves with words, phrases, quotes and even framed photographs reflecting joyful events to ease the burden of an angry world to soothe and feed our anxious soul. Absorb the tiny retreats found on book shelves, arranged in the clouds, spoken by a grandmother, viewed over the bridge and delighted on the trail of wind that lift and swoop the dance of winter birds overhead. These moments are presently ready to weave their way into our day and express the words that inspire, aleviate, elevate and bring to us a moment of pause and introspection. Some moments are many times far too awe inspiring for words.

God Bless this moment. Hold fast to this new calendar year. It is moving.

http://www.quotegarden.com/

http://www.wallwords.com/index.asp

My Christmas Touches

I've finally put the finishing touches on creating wonderful signs of Christmas in my little home. I love my growing seasonal collection. It's all coming together so nicely. The best part of all of my stuff is that every piece is very meaningful to me. It's not just something I picked up at Target or TJ Maxx. If it isn't painted or created by my own hand, it was handmade and bought or given to me at some time.

Here in this snapshot is part of my snowman collection. I painted both plaques pictured here. The stuffed snowman was givien to me as a "thank you" gift for hosting a party. the ceramic snowman canister was given to our family from relatives and the little snowman sled was purchased from another painter from an arts and crafts show. The clock was an anniversary gift.

The other side of the shelf is more painted pieces by myself and the snow family fabric wall hanging was purchased from a crafter at the annual Bethlehem Presbyterian Church fair. The stuffed snowman is pals with the other snowman sitting to his right.

These two little quails are usually sitting in my Christmas tree, but I decided to let them nest in the ficus tree this year. They look pretty content.

I love Santa Claus and cookies! He is surrounded by cool blue LED lights and glass ornaments. Our tree is the bomb this year! We decided to go to the same Christmas tree farm as last year. Farmside Acres, which is owned by Robert and Leslie Nannini of Angola Road. It's the best way to get a tree.
TA-DA!

Another Santa ornament dwarfed by a keepsake glass ornament from WAAAAY back when my mom bought them at Barkers in Newburgh.

I Believe! I Believe! This is my hand painted sign that I made last year. I have three of them hanging around the house. I point to each one and yell out, "BELIEVE!" My boys think I'm nuts!

Ahhh, my sweet nativity. My DH bought this for me two years ago. It's complete with stable, shepards, and 3 wise men. Each figurine expresses biblical verse from the gospel of Matthew, Luke and John.

On the other side of the room is my Santa Shelf and it's where we hang our stockings. Ho Ho Ho!

I love nutcrackers! I've got a small collection. The store I work at has an attractive line for sale, but they really have to mean something to me, so I haven't given in to buying them. These two guys were bought when I lived in Germany as a kid. They were my mothers and I got to keep them. I see my big guy has a missing mustache! I should glue that on one of these days! Last year his little foot had to be glued. The other one is missing his sword. Peace on Earth.

December Thoughts

30 days hath September,

April, June, and November.

All the rest have 31

But February’s the shortest one.

With 28 days most of the time,

Until Leap Year gives us 29.

It was first grade with Mrs. Grew that we recited this lesson. I remember just moving my lips and observing her and hearing the rest of the class chanting along in perfect rhythm. I had no idea what the hell they were talking about. Now, 36 years later, I know way more than I want to and I would prefer to return to being the toe-haired girl simply moving her lips knowing that somehow I was in good care.

I fondly recall quite a few magical moments in my elementary years. I remember sitting on the floor gazing up at my music teacher Mrs. Galloway with her long Lynn Anderson blonde hair. She played her guitar for us and swear I could still smell the pages of her spiral music book that held the whimsical songs she taught us. I remember another time sitting on the carpeted floor with a visiting teacher. I'm not sure what she was teaching, but I remember her taking a perfect piece of chalk and making the most beautiful circle. I was so moved that my voice broke through and said, "That's a good circle!" She thanked me. There was also the memory of my classmates and I practicing Goldilocks and the Three Bears play. I remember my teacher scolding me as I said my line, "This porridge is too hot..."

"Karen, how can we hear you if you don't take your hair out of your mouth?" She sighs. Goldilocks eats porridge, Take 5.

This year is almost over and I've used up all of my takes. This is the last scene for the year. There is no particular title, but there is a spirit-filled theme I believe in. It is as silent as snow falling on a powdered filled street and it is as certain as a night star. It is within all of us and it is who we all are. "Unto us a child is born" take 2009.

What Freakin' Day it is?

Araaagh! I'm lying in bed this morning thinking it's Sunday, so I shuffle out into the dark, prepare my brew and lethargically stare into the crack box (computer). Lo and behold, after a sip of coffee, my brain begins to fizzle and then WHAM-O! I realize it's Friday and I have to go to work! Holy Hell!

Araagh! Thursday's turkey feast faked me out! I'm high on tryptophan and I don't even know what freakin' day it is! I was planning on lounging in my pj's all day. Sunday. Ha! Where did those aliens take me to last night anyway?

Araagh! It's BLACK FRIDAY! I shouldn't even be stepping out of the door. All those hung-over shopping loons are on the road. I'll just have to drive like them to assimilate otherwise I'm roadkill. The ride home should prove to be even more horrifying because everyone will be starving and broke.

Araagh! I'm working late because I promised to "deck the halls" at the store. Araagh! I have prescription deliveries too, so I'll really be caught in the zoom with the mall zombies and pillagers running red lights and screeching lefts. I gotta stay calm. I gotta get into the spirit, except I think the spirit is slipper sliding today and eating left-over pie.

Autumn Leaves You Laughing

I finally tended to my living room shelves today and adorned them with the magic of filtered hues and celebratory colors of the Autumn season. It's my favorite time of year. I thought these snapshots would have been bigger, but alas my skills in digital photography....

Yeah, I know I should have been outdoors because it was a beautiful sunny 60+ degree day, but I spent the day inside making homemade chicken soup, oatmeal raisin and chocolate chip cookies.

In my homebody state, I decided to collect a list of words that I associate with, identify with and am attracted to in the mental sense. My intention is to meditate on this vocabulary with the hopes to inspire and generate a stimulating composition consisting of art and prose. Basically the conversation in my head with images. It's a fucking process and a journey that'll take me whenever I decide I'm to take complete blame for all of this delay.

Expressions In The Arts

I crossed paths with an acquaintance of mine during a grocery store run. She is a fellow artist and it seems whenever we meet, we have lengthy chats about our recent ventures and struggles to "get our artwork out there". I have never seen her artwork, but for some reason, her and I have this relaxed understanding between us that confirms my nagging belief in reestablishing a meeting place for hungry artists. Hungry for reassurance, inspiration, motivation and a place to show and tell our tales of expression and strip away the layers; hiding our soul's intention.

In fact, I know and have met many creative souls that are always eager to talk with me about their craft because I love to listen. It's fascinating when I hear the language of spontaneous art. It is the emotional songs in our conversation that sing about intangible, imaginative and moving moments that can only be captured by the artist's mind and eye. Beautiful, irrational, ghostly, fleeting, timeless, raw and sometimes unintentional.

In the next few months I will dig through the files of "someday" folders and place them in the "today" pile. A few years ago I nurtured an idea and it was called Expressions In The Arts and was followed up by my monthly newsletter called The Artisan Article. The way I see it as the days unfold, the HUMAN spirit is in GREAT DEMAND!! A thread of ideas, forging community spirit, and creative ingenuity. Not just art, but a forum for inspiration, uplifting escape and personal expression. I'm sorry and tired of hiding and pausing my talents and good intentions. I can sing, I can speak, but I lost my courage somehow.

Courage: (noun) mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty

Got it!

Up To My Elbows

Dirty dishes in my sink
Gives me time to stop and think...
What it means to wash a glass, a mug, a spoon, a plate and knife
Contributes to your well-being and purpose to my mundane life.

I don't like doing the dishes. Other days I hate it. My emotions fight it every time it is time. See? I'm here at the computer, instead of washing the morning dishes. It only takes about ten minutes or so, but it feels like an agonizing endless chore. I did time myself once or twice using the microwave clock-timer. I set the countdown at ten minutes and I raced through the whole pile give or take a few seconds.

Now a good stack of anxiety could consist of about four to five dinner plates, five glasses, several cereal/icecream bowls and assorted utensils. Throw in a coffee mug, some of those Chinese take-out bowls that accumulate even though you just want to throw away, and of course, a greasy frying pan with matching flipper. If I can arrange and rinse the mess in some sort of order on the counter before I begin, the roar and growling from irritated food particles isn't as audible. I robotically fill up the stainless steel sink with hot water, add about seven or eight squirts of liquid soap, swish, swirl and animate my sculpture of suds. There's no turning back now.

I have the classic set-up. My back is to the room and I have a window with a view. A view of the driveway, old mother tree, and the tree lined road. Like I said, I have the classic set-up. My back is turned, I am banished; facing a spotted and smudged, cobweb laden window. My anguish soars along the tree lined road hoping someone will rescue me.

I don't slip into latex gloves like some ladies. Indeed I have a pair. I even bought the hot pink Playtex ones over the yellow thinking I could fool myself to add whimsy to my cleaning experience, but I really only use them for the real scrub jobs. This is a ten minute dig compared to a hour scourge in the bathtub but that's another story.

Dishes stacked. Check. Sleeves rolled up. Check. Nose is itched. Check. My hands glide into the steaming water and my thoughts drift through the window screen as suds stick and roll along my hands and arms. If I hurry, I'm sure I'll break something, but if I can focus on the diligent rhythm of dip, swirl, dip, swirl, stack, rinse, stack, then this task will not reach that nerve. So in the words of the famous zen master, Thich Nhat Hanh, "The time of dishwashing is as important as the time of meditation. That is why the everyday mind is called the Buddha's mind." (from Present Moment Wonderful Moment Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living)

The moment arrives when the last orphan spoon shines in the running water and plops into the draining cup. Down goes the water. Down goes the soap. I'm free! I'm free! I have put aside all traces from my transcedental meditational session, and I turn around to embrace my release. I whisper never to wash another thing for the rest of my life and then I gasp and witness my youngest son filling up a clean glass with refreshing, cold milk. "Thanks Mom!" Ah Heaven.

What More Do You Want? A Political Statement

(a letter to an Obama supporter)



Can you convince me that democracy will still stay in place and I'm not going to have to share MORE of my hard earned income and wealth (peace of mind) with lazy asses that collect welfare and sit in front of a computer all day upgrading their My Space (They've got satelite TV, cellphones, jewelry, drugs, nails, and fresh tattoos) and then listen to how they're really hurtin' and can't wait for the free stuff Obama's gonna give 'em. Y'know, that white collar computer nerd, stock broker, engineer, pharmacist "employer" just bought me Christmas dinner, gave me a raise and a 401K option so I can support a family. Who else is gonna do that? Joe Schmo, the union president, taking his 5th cigarette break and figuring out how he's going to stick it to the man, fuck over his fellow co-workers and fake some "on the job" disability? I certainly don't want any hand outs from the Government, although the economic stimulus package was helpful, but SURPRISE! you only got it if you paid taxes! People have to take care of themselves. We don't need a president who is going to coddle lazy people with more government programs. We already have Medicaid, and don't even get me started on Medicare and Social Security that I contribute to every week. I never met so many wealthy unhappy, unappreciative, selfish seniors in my life! "Whadda mean my monthly co-pay is ten dollars? My entre at Red Lobster is only $9.99!"

Tell me that I can proudly still hold on to my guns and religion, that I don't have to watch the family unit be mocked by trans gender legalized gay marriages, that the freedoms we enjoy today, like walking in a mall, visiting a historic site, traveling abroad, like to the Grand Canyon (lol) isn't going to be diminished because for the last eight years, we haven't had a single bombing incident on American soil. Please don't be one of those nuts who believes Rosie O'Donnell. Wasn't the National Guard in Louisiana for "the storm of the century?" See what happens when you have a real leader there that says, "Either you get the fuck out (evacuate), or you're screwed." And in came the buses. We've got a kick ass military, let's keep it that way, and let me tell you what, I want them over there on the offensive in the Middle East keeping an eye on those fuckers and helping the Iraq people live freely, kids play, people shop, eat, dress, speak their minds. We take it all for granted here.

And who the hell are these 21st Century 20 something anarchists breaking the law in MN? Get a fuckin' job you wayward brat! They've got is so bad. Did Mommy forget to put the jelly on both sides of the bread?

It's 3am...and I know where my children are, we are a proud hard working, law abiding contributors to our community, and this country. My DH works for a municipality with all its BS, but it puts food on the table, shelter over our heads, gas in our cars, health coverage, and all the other necessities we need to live and be . I work for a pharmacist who owns several properties, drives a nice car, has a fuckin beautiful Jag, doesn't know how to hold a hammer, but he's awesome to work for! I wish I made more money, but it's my choice to stay and work there. I could've gone and finished college, but I didn't. I'm not going to blame the government for my life! So we live within our means and when all is said and done, we're content because as you know, it's not ever about things. I do wish for you plenty of success and wealth as you pursue your happiness. See you at the polls.

“My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you’ll join with me as we try to change it.” ~ Barack Obama

Call It What You Want

During my earlier artistic endeavors, I illustrated and colored spirited and spontaneous designs of color and shape. It was very freeing to create. Controlled doodling, really.

Applying myself to that natural response, I completed this 12" x 18" colored pencil piece that you see. I was pleased to pursue my play and make mini frame and focus areas mounted for notecards. An amusing way to stimulate more expressive possibilities. Call it what you want.

Righting the Writer

I have a lot of journals, notebooks, steno pads, sketchbooks gathered in piles, stacked in boxes, leaning in shelves and I know there is a constellation of meaning to them. This morning, as I rocked up from my bed, I grabbed three and flipped through the intended words and thoughtful works inside. Sometimes it is very sad to read my inner struggles from five or more years ago as they catch up with the ones that are still haunting me. Some demons are more imagined than real.


There is a line in one of my writings that prompted this entry. It is a sigh to the Lord.

Cloak me in your shield of light.
Save me from my imagined turmoil.
Is the Devil going to be as determined to keep me still?
("Be still and know that I am God")
Sit with me and tell me something.
Hold out your open hand
And allow me to gaze upon its Universe.
Follow and clean my footsteps from hesitating darkness.
It is only when I look ahead
Will I succeed.
04/06

Same journal, almost a year later:

Don't waste your time asking me "What?"
My answer extends beyond measure and cannot be expressed with words.
It is when you can find confidence without asking "What"
That you will find me.
03/07


There is this flawless path of knowing,
And the uncertain group of hopes with fears.
Endless anguish colapses in the frame of memory.
We also pass through this envelope of time,
Only to surface and gasp for heaven's air.



SLAM!!!
Well, that's all for now kiddies!

Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage

Well, I finally did it. I've been wanting to for awhile now. I canceled my website. Yahoo was raising their monthly web hosting fee, so I clicked CANCEL plain and simple. The month's not even over and they completely erased it from the web like THAT! The bastards. Who gives a shit? Yeah, I saved most of my text, graphics and pix. Shake the dust off. Impressions by karen guarino is done and I'm glad.

So now it's time to keep walking. Sit with myself and think, think, think. There's a story, there's a tale and a miracle howl somewhere in this body of hope. So here I am at the burning barrel again, tossing in forgeries and devil maps of where I thought I was supposed to be. Jesus, everything makes so much more sense to me when I'm dreamy-still and entranced with an earful of songs. Where are the wooded areas? Where are those paths that led me to spiritual places only seen by me? The tiny voice speaking through pebble petting streams, cool, smooth tree bark, bending grasses and leaves that turn over and over on windy caresses. It's time for me to listen.

Autumn Leaves You Laughing

What is this? Well, it was a honey brown stained piece that I bought for $2 from a Grandma's Attic table tag sale. It has two "mystery" dowels across the face of it and a pocket. I plan on displaying it with a row of mini drip candles or tied dried flowers hanging down for charm. At least I crackled and tackled it instead of letting it sit for a year or more. More fun in store for today!!

Morning Buzz

Routine has its place. My early morning routine is a must. Don't futz with my slipper slide to the coffee zone. Don't tell me to snuggle for five more minutes because before coffee, I'm about as cuddly as a rabid badger. You're truly better off. So, with feet to the floor, I'm barely out of my dream state while I'm zombie rockin' over to the java machine. Please, just give me a solid hour to fill one up, sit, sip and stare into the web. I'll come around.

Cottage Additions

Wood shelf with dowl rod for dried flowers, tea towels, drip candles, greeting cards...